Blog
Probing the Edge
6/3/2023 by Matt LewellynOne part of us is subjected to Christ completely. The rest, not so much. So there are parts of us that seem to have the light of Christ, and other parts that are just dark as night. Some of us are drawn toward probing that edge between.
But what we tear at in the darkness often looks like the same anxiety, the same depression... Things that are not our fault. It doesn't feel right. And it can be the greatest test of our faith.
Unwanted Reality
5/24/2023 by Matt LewellynI'm sitting in the kitchen again, holding the child who won't stop kicking and screaming. Closer to teen than toddler, my child left rational thought behind a while ago. A switch flipped, and here we are. Here we've been, really - many times over many months.
When we deal with extreme behaviors, we are often (rightly) so focused on the parenting of it and the child's experience, we don't deal with our own story in those moments. When it becomes a more pronounced point in our story, though, we must take the opportunity to reflect.
Conversations
5/9/2023 by Matt LewellynWho wins the shouting matches that go on inside your head?
We spend our lives cultivating coping mechanisms to survive the war between the flesh and the Spirit. When we've spent a lifetime learning one way of doing spirituality - let alone mental wellness - imagining another approach becomes almost impossible.
Guard the Garden
4/6/2023 by Matt LewellynWhere would you go to meet Jesus in the most holy of moments in his earthly life and ministry? Take your pick. Birth? Baptism? Sermon on the Mount? Lazarus rising?
There is a moment in the Christ story more holy than any other. And not one of his disciples was there. While our experience is certainly not equal to his, let's look at how it can resonate deeply.
Remaining Darkness
3/30/2023 by Matt LewellynI came across an article at Desiring God called, “The Shadow We Cannot Shake: What to Do When Darkness Remains.” My soul was disquieted by it - when reading articles like that, the "encouragement" there can have the opposite effect. That is, they add to our shame.
Revival
2/18/2023 by Matt LewellynYou may have heard the news - there's revival happening in Kentucky. At a college chapel service, one thing led to another, and now hundreds of people are descending to catch a glimpse of this new work of the Holy Spirit.
I told myself I shouldn't publish this one. But we can make assumptions about what the mature Christian looks like - what they're composed of internally, how they respond to events like this.
De(Re?)construction
2/2/2023 by Matt LewellynYou won't hear it in church very often. It probably won't be obvious if you look around you. Most likely, though, someone around you is in the process of internally tearing apart tenets and building blocks of their faith.
It's not so interesting that many have found reasons compelling enough (to them) to set aside the faith. No - what's interesting is how the church responds.
I Was
1/16/2023 by Matt LewellynWhen we talk about our testimonies or why someone ought to come to Jesus, let's be clear about what the expectations are. Coming to Jesus does not mean all our problems are solved. It does not mean anxiety should be resolved, depression changed to joy, addiction replaced with agency.
What's the "before" and "after" in your life? Is your experience normal?
The Veil
1/6/2023 by Matt LewellynAwareness of the veil doesn't solve the veil, so we become fascinated with probing the edges of this experience. We explore the margins where souls are caught in purgatories constructed by the hands of men and of demons. We fixate on this veil, in the face of hell itself - daring God to show up.
